Raven’s Personal Log 14
Many days have passed and the logs have fallen so far behind. I have given up on writing to my people. How can I explain all the rules I have broken all the lines of light and dark that I play on? How can I crush their hope for the greatness and honor that I am marked for?
I guess I should start with Col. Peter Thorne, the team’s Government Liaison. I was not at the mansion the day he walked into to my life. Sable had took him before the Chaos Troop. He was a tall, lean man of about forty years of the green, with dark brown hair graying at the temples. He was impeccably dressed in a uniform.
Sable was having as much success with the group as did Archer. Thorne had given Sable his phone number and address. He was quite taken with her. Only Chaos reigned in the group. I slide down the banister and walked in as he was finishing speaking with the others. I turned invisible and followed him out to his vehicle. I whispered in his ear to let him know I was with him.
Sable closed the front door and he let me in his car. He pulled out of the drive and headed down the road. I became one with his eye.
“What can I do for you?” Thorne asked.
I explained my request; “I need to understand the laws quickly of your land. I would like to join your mind and see.”
He pulled off the road and turned to me. “You want to what?”
“I want to join your mind. How can I help them if I do not understand? With your permission, I can see clear and more. I will understand.”
He was unsure at first but than agreed. I gently moved into his mind. I saw all the information that he had given the others and moved a little deeper. I pulled from him understanding of government. Army, Navy, Air Force, CIA, FBI and the rest of the symbols. It was in my mind and I would learn to understand them. I retrieved general laws of the land.
The reason he had come to us was there was this Pack and it was headed by Mongrel and they had killed many and we where to help them. The only two survivors where at a police station and the crime scene waited for us. I removed myself from his mind and thanked him. He also took the time to show me how to get out of a car. I bid him farewell and returned to the mansion, knowing I would call on him again. It was his duty.
As I ran up the drive the others where getting ready to leave.
Sable grinned, “We could walk.” She watched me approach them. “Problem Raven?”
“Hi sis. We’re leaving. Want to join us” Cat asked “or them?” He pointed to Sable and crew
“Of course.” I said to Cat and looked to Sable with a smile, “I just had to catch up with myself again.” No one caught the joke I spoke of so I let it drop. It was a seeker joke any ways.
Sable and Cammie speed off to the police station and Little brother, Blue and me drove to the House.
I spoke with Cat about the fight with my mate. “Why did you and William fight? Valoki nearly killed Sir William in defending you.”
Cat bowed his head; “I thank him for it. I think William would have killed me if he didn’t.”
“Why did you fight in the first place?”
Cat whispered softly, “He doesn’t respect me I thought if I could beat him in a fight I could start to help him. I failed.”
“Than why did Valoki say you fought over me?”
Cat answered, “The agreement was if I won he would do what I told him to do and if he won I would help him get you. He’s male, he can see he doesn’t have a love that he would die for. Of course he wants you.”
“How where going to help him, little brother?”
Cat shook his head, “I didn’t think I would have to try.”
“So you lied to him?”
“No. I just haven’t figured on what I would do. I told him I would try.” Cat looked so pitiful.
“Please do not mention this to Archer.” I held his hand, “unless of course it is directly asked. Do not lie to him. I can not ask no one to do that.”
“If you two love each other as you seem. Anything I could do would only bring you closer. I have to keep my word. I’m sorry.”
The Mansion was located on a peninsula on the Sound side of the Olympic Peninsula. Across the landside is a high stone wall topped with two strands of electrified wire. Steel gates have been smashed open and the guardhouse beside it riddled with dozens of rounds. Three men lay sprawled on the lawn, each with an assault rifle. The house was a two story Colonial with four columns supporting the porch in front. The door hung from their hinges and the front of the building is peppered with bullet holes.
I called on Thorne’s memories to give all the right responses to the men sealing off of the crime scene. I was able to get a little fur and a piece of cloth. Blue was able to get a lot more. I got to question the child over the radio and knew I had to find the boat. The Special place for him and his father. I walked out of the house looking for the “team that stood waiting”. The CSI team was working in the yard and the ME was examining one of the bodies. I informed them as soon as Blue was done to turn the place inside out and get every thing into the lab. Thorne information from his head gave all the right words. They knew what to do. Half of me wanted to continue to look for the boat but the other half grew tired. I opened my locket twice and was back to the mansion. I requested Spock to take the hair and cloth to find out what he could, but he could do nothing. In stead he brought me my love.
Archer appeared beside me, his face filled with worry, “Are you okay?”
“Yes.” I replied as he stepped in closer to me taking me in his arms. I smiled and commented, “I need your magic.”
“Are you sure?” he looked into my eyes as he spoke, “I had a terrible feeling.”
I explained about what I had and what Col. Thorne had said and all of what I saw. I explained the news real of this pack that now hunted those involved in drugs. I shared my fear with him.
“I fear you where right,” I paused, as my feelings twisted. “My drug deals might have made my mates targets. Remember the two we found dead, the two mates.”
“Yes.” He answered with his loving arms holding me.
“What if these people did that to them as a warning.”
Cufean stroke my hair as he answered, “Very likely.”
“Than they know me.” I concluded.
“It is the way they would work.” He confirmed, “You are not easy to hide, love.”
My mind whirled at the thought of hiding, “I will not hide but I can not endanger the others nor my mates.”
Archer placed a hand on my tummy. “You have other lives to consider now too.” I don’t know why but my eyes filled with tears. He kissed my forehead speaking so softly, “I will travel with you, protect you but I will do it without others knowing.” Cufaen held me tightly and I melted into him. “We will not stop your good work, love but we will stop what is illegal.”
“I am sorry.”
“Why sorry?” he lifted my face that I had buried into his chest.
“I never do anything right. I learn to slow.”
Cufaen shook his head, “There is just far more then you can imagine.”
“I need the laws in my head.” I gathered my strength, “I might not be bound to them but I can know them.”
Archer laughed softly; “There are millions of laws, love.”
“Col. gave me some. Gave me the ones that are common. Gave me a guideline.”
He saw the plea in my eyes I know he did. He agreed, “Very well. When? How do you feel now?”
I answered, “When you can. I am a tiny bit hungry. I need to speak with the others. We leave to many things undone.”
“Where to?” he asked
I listed the things on my mind, “First we should hear the others, close down the church, talk to big Pete, visit the mates and secure them in my home, see coon, and than grab food. Than destroy my stores. Oh we need to find the drug lord boat too.”
Archer just went, “Hmm…”
Chameleon entered. I told her of my seeding. Archer insisted on them being called babies, he said “Seed sounds like a plant”. They where in a way a plant. From one smallness made fertile sprung a life. Then grows within and in time would come forth in the light and sprout strong and tall. I wonder how he understood it. We three talked about loose ends but ended up talking about her loneliness. Cat wanted so much to fill that for her and I told her. Even my love spoke of his testing and how determined Cat was in aiding her. Cufaen also said a strange thing to me. He said, “My home is yours, Raven…you are now mistress of the Wild Hunt.” I don’t under stand this.
“Cufean we have many things to do. Where do we start?” I changed the subject. I didn’t not wish to ask too much. There was enough undone to bring up more.
“Together, of course.” He smiled brightly.
“Could you have Spock take the 3 of us to the warehouse?” I paused in thought, “or is it now 5?” I smiled, “that way little sister can play with Valoki.”
Archer hide a laugh, “Still but three, the five will be later.”
Chameleon said, “Thank you, we will both be grateful.”
“Spock… Three and two very new to beam to Raven’s Home.”
Valoki flew to Kara as we became one to the world again. He licked her ear and hissed at Archer. Chameleon gave Valoki a kiss and a hug.
Archer spoke, “Be quiet, Valoki. Or I’ll make a shoe out of you.” Valoki turned his tail and held it out as a threat. Archer chuckled,
“I have seen your spike, little dragon and I fear it greatly!”
I whispered to my love, “He feels brave after what he did to William.”
Archer bowed slightly as he spoke playfully, “Tell me what I can do to appease your ire?”
“He says he will sleep on it.” I laughed at the thought.
“Please, little dragon Lord, sleep upon is soon, ere you find yourself impressed in tears shed by one who desires nothing but to worship your dear Raven.” He bowed again and I lead him to a hidden door.
The growth of the green had covered it, and only me and William really knew it was behind all the lovely Ivy. We slipped into the room and I showed him the many boxes of trade I had collected. I went into detail on how I started and moved to other trade. He murmured “I am in love with a drug dealer…” He rubbed his head, as if in pain. I took him out side to where I hide the bottle of trade and than down the street to another place where I had other items stored. I showed him the few guns I had received and all the other things I had. He was not pleased with any of it. But agreed again to at last show me law.
“Spock, what the hell am I going to do with all this stuff?” He stared at my horde, “I thought only dragons had a horde like this.”
“Do I not make good trades?” I asked as he rubbed his forehead and eyes. “Do you pain my one and only?”
“What else do you trade?” he asked.
“I trade in all things needed, except two.”
He looked up, “except two? There is something you don’t trade?”
I nodded, “Pam does dance for green but she breaks your taboo rule, thus not that.”
Archer renamed it, “A stripper?”
“Jesse she trades with her seed to all.”
Archer named this too, “and a hooker.”
I looked at him and corrected with the titles they gave, “No, Pam said she was an exotic dancer and Jesse, A lady of pleasure. Jesse doesn’t like the H word but those I do not trade in.”
Archer explained, “The Exotic dancer is legal the … er … lady of pleasure, is not.”
More confusion filled me. He had said to remove all my clothes in front of others were taboo, yet now it is legal to do so. I would have to understand things more before speaking of this again. “Pam might join me.”
“But not Jesse?”
“Nope, Jesse is fun to speak with.”
“Why not?”
I thought of Jesse’s words to me, “Not sure what she meant.”
“What did she say?”
I repeated them; “The job doesn’t pay enough and limits half the fun. Can you explain her words?”
Archer spoke, “and there are dangers of getting beat up, raped, diseases. She is probably hooked on drugs.” My spirit grew sadden at the thought, but Archer asked, “About the job not paying or limiting the fun?”
“Yes, both.” I did have to learn the ways of the green.
“Girls that work the streets…ladies of pleasure…get paid for having sex…you understand that?”
“Yes.” I understood that is why it was trade.
“She has a ‘pimp’ someone she works for… Did she tell you that?”
“She has others that work for her.” I looked to him waiting for more information.
“Then she is a ‘madam’.” He concluded
“I don’t know.” I stated, “But she did offer me a place to stay when ever I wanted.”
“She wanted to put you to work as a whore…lady of pleasure?” Archer questioned
“OH NO!” I smiled sure that is not what she had wanted.
“Good…. That would be a big mistake…. For her.”
“She said I was much too sweet for the likes of John but I really don’t think she knows John.” I added.
Archer kept a straight face, “Not John, love…a “John”. A John is a girl’s customer.”
“Thought they where lover, baby cakes and sugar lips?”
The grin grew upon his lips. “I see you need another trip into my mind…. “
“Jesse is very interesting to talk to even if I don’t understand half of what she says and she loves giving hugs. Not many of the green like giving hugs. “I wrapped my arms around his waist and he hugged me. “Yes!”
I felt his eyes looking down on me as I melted into him. “Yes?”
“I just can’t get enough of your touch.” I looked up into his eyes.
He leaned down to touch foreheads with me, gazing into my eyes. “Then touch my mind again. Let me teach you the answers to these questions.”
“Yes my love, would you like to see in mine?” I offered freely to my one and only.
“We will share.”
I opened her mind leaving only one door in it shut. I move softly over his thought and heard him within my self. *Where shall I start?* his mind spoke.
I opened my mind to one of the meetings with Jesse. *Jesse gave me a full body hug and called me sweet thing. Never letting the contact between us ever break while we went around together, A hand in hand or arm around a shoulder, fingers in my hairs always something.*
Archer open his *He showed me the crack houses, opium dens, drug factories…the lives destroyed by the drugs, people he has arrested, pushers, addicts. He showed me children born addicted to drugs, their tiny bodies wrecked with tremors of withdrawal and then many dying. He showed me the dead he has found, young boys and girls, killed by a rival drug gang… He showed me the homes of innocent people, a small child killed by a stray shot during a drug-related drive by. He showed me women; young, very young girls hooked on drugs by men that claimed to ‘love’ them only to turn them into whores. He showed me the progression of a single girl from innocent child to young hooker to ancient whore at only 25. He showed me the pushers giving free samples to children on the grounds of schools. Innocent children whose lives were destroyed by those drugs.”
My body trembled and tears streamed as my mind took in the passionate force he revealed to me. I wanted to pull from these but knew I had to learn. “He showed the pusher working his young customers. Getting them to work for him, steal for him; beat up innocent people for him. All so they can get their next fix. He showed me the crimes he has fought…. Not the robberies… or theft… but the crime against innocent people. He showed me the dark side of this world… organized crime… mass murders… serial rapist…. Drug lords… gang wars…”
I could take no more. I fled from his mind as my knees hit the ground. My tears streamed. He had showed me the places I was in. The ones I knew. He knelt beside me and held me close. Some how I found my voice, “I am lost in the dark. I didn’t know.”
He stroked my hair and whispered gentle words. “Not all it dark, love.”
“I am the dark.” I felt my failure that was beaten into me.
“No.” he held tighter, “You aren’t dark. You are too innocent to be dark. To be dark you would have to understand what you do and do it anyway. If a child accidentally kills with a parent’s loaded gun. Is that child dark?”
My words were broken as I tried to speak as I cried, “We have no guns or drugs or any of the trade I used to gain the green money. I am a protector that has destroyed.”
“Did any tell you this? Did William tell you what you were doing? Did he tell you it was illegal?”
“William had me deal in smoke but that trade was small. I moved to better trade on my own. When William told me to think about it I didn’t understand his words.” I raised my eyes to his. “He said what I did was unwise and could land me in trouble, but no he did not say illegal.”
“He didn’t explain did he?” Archer shook his head.
“The laws of the green don’t bind me but the light of the flame does and I was doing dark. I now see. I did much dark.” I became lost in tears again, the visions in my head pounding my spirit from the strength of his belief in them. “Why must I do everything wrong.”
You did not do so knowing it was dark. You need a vacation, my love.”
“I need to learn faster.” I reopened my mind into his pushing back the pain of the new knowledge. I held my mind firm. I needed to know the Laws.
Archer opened his mind freely, * he showed me the Law. The big ones first; murder, larceny, assault, rape, robbery, drug dealing, treason.* Things fell into place, words of warning now understood. The many laws of the land I broke mounted.
He continued, *He showed me the nuances of the laws, minor laws, criminal laws, civil laws. *
I pulled from the connection and looked into his eyes. “You would have turned my mate William for only one offense and I have done many more. What will you do to me?”
Archer hugged me tighter “Love you”
“I will try and follow the laws of the green.” I spoke as I moved back into his mind
Archer continued, * he showed me the difference between your innocent actions and William’s actions done with the full knowledge of the law.* I saw no difference I was just as in the wrong. He cleared his mind, * the sight of the forest, mist shrouded and cool… His philosophy of what is right and what is wrong flowed in. The difference between the law and justice. The main difference in his mind…intent.*
I had him stop and showed him the people, the pain and the goodness in the ones he had condemned. The ones doing what they could just to get by, I showed him the places William sleep before me and the places he got his food. I showed him William holding me as my fire burned and the pain made me scream. Me screaming awake from a nightmare. William nearby to comfort me.
I dropped the link. In Archer’s eyes I spoke with out losing myself, “He is a man of light. Just not of the same green as you.”
Archer agreed, “He does have good points but he put you in danger.”
I looked at my trade items. “I did that myself.”
“No… He did not tell you the danger.”
“He told there could be. I did not understand enough to listen.”
“He did not understand that you could not understand what that danger was.”
“He than, was as I, and no fault to him, in less you fault me too.”
Maybe.” He paused, “but he did know the bank robbery was illegal.”
“He did it for me. To make me stop this. “A flash of anger took over me and I kicked some boxes over.
“Be easy, love.”
“What shall you do with my flame trade.”
“What is legal, we will keep, what is not. I shall destroy.”
He went through the some of the boxes, explaining the things within. My mind swirled as I tired to understand all that was now in my mind.
“What else would you know?” He now looked eager to share more.
I rubbed my eyes. “I need my head to rest,”
“Wait a minute.” He took me by the shoulders; “You need peace for a while. Would you like to take a trip with me?”
I laid my head in his chest. His hand drifted up and stroked my hair. I listened to his heart and replied, “Where ever you go, I will, if you will just take me.”
“Then come.” He took my hand as if to lead me. I took his hand with both of mine. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He stepped forward, pulling me along. We shifted ton a desolate plain, hot, arid…
“I know this place, one and only.” I commented as I looked around the place of between.
Archer face looked a little drawn. “You do?”
“This is where I started my journey to the green. There is nothing but us here. At least when I came there was just me and Valoki.”
“I have never know another that took this Road.”
“By the flame, it was meant to be,” I looked deep into his eyes, “Me finding my dream. Where do we go.”
“It may be Fate has been playing with me again.” My hand ran along the marks of greatness. Was he part of what was to be too? He took me passed the burned out husks of school buses. Than stopped, turning off the Road. “Be prepared, my love.” He was suddenly dressed to hunt, quiver across his back, bow in hand.
I stood readying my mind. Archer loosened the katana in the scabbard and took my hand. Archer took a deep breath and stepped back into the ‘real’ world. I whispered to him, “What is a vacation?”