Raven’s Personal Log 3
I spent the night reading in Cufean’s Library and writing logs. I had just laid my head down looking into the ambers of the dying flames. When I heard the door open. I laid still and listen closing my eyes and opening my mind.
It was Cat. He picked up the books I had finished reading and placed them back on to the shelves. I felt his eyes on my skin. Than he took the book I had still lying open and made a note and placed it back too. I watched him as he started to go but couldn’t contain myself. “Hello Cat.”
He was taken back for a moment but than he spoke, “Are you ready for a day of shopping?”
I got up and stretched and straighten my native clothes. I looked at him and thought his eyes where going to fall out of his head. I smiled sweetly at him. He was still in man form and was fine in looks. He was a light frame man with short black hair. His eyes to slivers of green plated almonds. He stood taller than me but who didn’t. He had a defined body but without bulk and mass. He would have made a fine fireoak elf but the talisman still stood silent.
The pain was starting to quiet in my body. What was it that opened me to this flood of emotions? It must be the dreams. Cat took me into the Great room with the long table and served me food. These people eat a lot and drink a lot and sleep a lot. I ate as much of the heavy food that I could and Valoki feasted. Valoki was still mad at me for leaving him during the rising of the sun. He felt Cufean was not the man I thought he was. I should not proceed in that direction. But how could I not. He was the man in the dream stone and what did Josho tell me? “Your mother gave me this when she left you with me.” He dropped a stone into my hand. “It is a dream stone. If you stare into it long enough you will see your dream. She told me when I saw my dream in it in full, I was to pass it on to my dream in order for the dream to live.” He paused for a time. “I dream of only you, Raven. You have grown into a woman and soon will have to leave my hut and when I look into your eyes I am whole. The stone is now yours. Do not lose it and do not keep it or the dream will die.” I know what I must do. I was told so long ago.
Cat retrieved the paper money needed, I wore the cloak that Cufean had laid on me hours before and had Spock take us to the land of Seattle. We finally made it Frederick’s. I looked at the clothes and was puzzled. A lot of the things here were less than what I wore. Was this just another misunderstanding or another lie? Was he so out of touch in the world he claimed as his own, that he truly believed what he said? I modeled every item for Cat. Sometimes I thought he was going to faint. Okay, there is a taboo of the body, but they love to break it. We left the Frederick’s and went to Meijer’s. There we got jeans and shirts. He had me get sandals and tennis shoes. We went into the food section and I saw things I knew. They weren’t called the same but I knew them. We bought some for later. He made me smile. Valoki warned me not to get any ideas of this one either; he was not yet ready. Some times I wish Valoki would just shut up but than I would be totally alone.
We went to a new hut and Cat showed me around, He said the team stayed here and this is where I would be staying for now. We placed my food in a box that was cold and we took all the other things into the room of books. We sat upon the couch and he spoke of many things. He gave me the Holy Bible to read. “For God so loved the world he gave his only begotten son. To who so ever believeth in him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” This spoke many words of Love and Death. It was a good book. And I will think of it more. Cat pushed my hair behind my ear, ever so lightly stroking it. Did he know what he did? My body responded. He than did it again to the other ear. I could not believe he was so forward. Than he said, “I know you are here to mate, but I just want you to know that I have these feelings for Kara. If things don’t work out with her I would probably jump at the chance to be with you. But my duty is here and I could never leave.” I was turned down before I even thought to ask. I must be the ugliest creature on this world. I was about to speak when Cufean appeared out of the thin air in the room with us.
I was wearing some of my new things. It was a black tube dress and my thigh high boots, my native belt hung around my waist hugging my hips, and Cufean’s cloak hung over my bare shoulders. Cufean spoke, “Good morning, Raven … Cat. Been shopping, I see.” I smiled brightly at him and jumped to my feet. His eyes looked me up and down so I turned to let him see the whole of the outfit. He dryly said, “Now that is a …” he paused a moment, “costume …” I guess he didn’t like it. Cufean picked up a bag and pulled out something very sheer and lacey.
I was dying to know his thought, “Do you like it?”
Cufean smiled, “You would look … delicious in it …”
Cat defended himself, “I didn’t pick it.”
“No, I guess you didn’t, Cat, it covers too much,” he said with a bit of acid tone.
I was like a kid and wanted to try out the new words I had learned, “Would yeah like to goggle at me with that on baby?” I wondered if I said it correct?
Cufean smiled brightly at me, “No matter what you wear, Raven, or don’t wear … you will always be ‘goggled’ at.”
That pleased me, so I told him of the plan Cat had come up with, “Cat is going to take me to the place of your mating rituals. He called it a singles bar.” Cufean had sat on a chair and I took a seat at his feet.
Cufean sighed, “You don’t understand our ‘mating rituals'”
“I was going to listen on the radio and help her out.” Stuttered Cat. I showed off my new hidden two-way radio
“Very nice … but Cat, how much experience do you have?”
” A … A … I know how to get people to leave.”
The subject changed they asked me about my amulet, I try to hide my fear about the failure of it to work and told them it would tell me if the person was acceptable and left it at that.
Cufean stared in to my eyes, “Raven … as I flew this morning … I had an idea … This world is filled with people … billions of people. It is also filled with children … children that live in horror … without a parent or someone to care for them. There are millions for them. In this land alone … can’t you find these children and take them to your land?
Cat spoke up, “Oh, you’re talking about the baby girls in China?”
” Exactly, Cat.”
“I have no way to care for children for the fullness of your cycle. Would you people let me have many children?”
Cufean continued, “Children are murdered all over the world. There are many that no one cares about.”
Cat joined in, “Yes, either we help them or they die. It would be great if we could help them.”
“If they are of good seed the forest will take them all.”
Cat hit his forehead and said, “I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you later.” I watched Cat hurry off.
“Baby girls left in the outdoors to die by the thousands in China alone. You can offer these lost children a life, Raven.”
“Teach me how. Show me how to obtain and support them till the end of the cycle. Cufean smiled and hugged me tightly. Oh how I wished he would never let me go.
“You have no idea how this makes me feel. To think we can save these children.”
“I only hope that the talisman approves each one.”
“We can but try … if you save one, it will be worth it.”
Cufean and me went through the bags of all the new clothes Cat had bought. He had me change clothes into black jeans and a half top. He was just sorry that I had to cover my mark of greatness. He called it a tattoo. He watched me as I removed my dress and replaced my clothing to his liking. He was an elf and said the nudity taboo didn’t hold for him. It made sense.
The time was now if I was to do it. I pulled out my coin bag and dropped the dream stone into my hand.
“This is a rare stone of the underworld.” I placed it into his hand. “It is said it will bring your dreams to you. I want you to have it.”
Cufean took the gem, peering into it. The stone changed colors and shapes swirled and than a form began to take of life within the gem. He stared into the stone for a long moment then closed his hand on the gem. “Raven, a stone such as this would fetch a high price in this world.”
“NO!” I spoke quickly, “With this treasure you can only pass it to another or the magic is gone. It was given to me by my parent who was given to him by my mother, who was given to her by her step father who given to by his wife and I give the dream stone to you.”
He opened his hand and looked at the stone.
“I will give you service to earn my keep.”
Cufean spoke, “This stone I more than enough.”
“No, that is a gift, and by the flame I vow to make you proud of my efforts.” I spoke on but he wasn’t listening to me he was else where listening.
“Sable is coming,” He announced brightly.
“Who is Sable?”
” My lover.”
“The one you love?”
“I care for her … but it has not sprung full to love. It may. Sometimes love is slow, sometimes fast …”
I could not look into his eyes and mine fell from his “I understand now please forgive. I knew not but I will serve.” He had lied to me. He said he had no love, that she died and than he turns around and says he has one but it is not strong yet. He accuses me of not having all the knowledge I need and yet he plays his games on me too. The pain in my body grew to fullness and I needed to leave this room. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes and I could not let him see them. “I need to go find a refresh room.” I left out the door trying not to release my pain.
Cufean grinned. “In THAT, I cannot help … for I know not where is it either!” He sighed deeply, his joke falling flat.
Sable had already arrived when I returned to the room. I thought I could handle it. I thought I had regained my strength over this burning in my veins. Than I saw her. She was perfect. She stood taller than I did. A good measure of a hand. Her frame was thicker than mine was but no fat lay on her bones. She had hair of black that flowed just past her shoulder. Her eyes were gray and shined like light on a steel blade. Sable had a thin face with high cheeks. Her lips where painted a deeper red than blood. She looked of a new mature but moved like an elder.
“Let me introduce you to someone,” Cufean pulled away from her. Sable turned towards me. “Sable, this is Raven.” I nodded. Sable smiled. “Raven, this is Sable.”
Sable smiled sweetly at me as if she had been my sister for years, “Hi, it’s nice to meet you.”
” I am Raven of the Fireoak forest, Seeker of my people and teacher of our ways. I greet the chosen one of Archer, as I have placed my self into his service.” I tried not expressing my emotions, “May the flame protect you”
She thanked me but he tried to correct me as if I had just spoiled another of his games, “Raven … you do not serve me. I want to help you.”
“She’s in your service?” Sable questioned as a strange grin crept across her face and her eyes went cold.
“It is her ways, love.” Ghost Archer smiles slightly. But there it was again. She was his love and only his love would he allow his seed to be brought forth. Sable nodded slowly. “She seeks people to go to her land.”
“What kind of people does she seek?
I spoke, “Mates.” Cufean glared at me but I did not heed this warning. “A strong seed for my people.”
“I fear their blood line is limited,” he smiled weakly.
“Ahh, I see” Sable mind was working and could be seen in her eyes, “So will anyone do or do you have prerequisites?
I responded, “They have to be good of heart, strong of body, and spirit and willing to leave all that is now for all that will be. There is no return once you leave.” The conversation was repeating, it self and I had the need to leave as he kept touching her and speak the word love to her. “I will excuse myself as you must have need.”
“What do you mean, Raven?” Cufean asked. I couldn’t believe he would put me through this pain. I tried to explain but he dismissed my reason for leaving. I stood there as he repeated his idea’s that only moments ago sound wonderful to me. Now it took on a bitter note as he recited it to her. Did he think that I was so unable, that I needed him to do the duty I was trained for? His words to her kept pricking my insides even though I was forced to stand there. I was bound in his service and social bindings would not let me leave till one was excused. They questioned me on the rules of taking children across. I had no answers. Seekers sought mates not children. There was no training on such rules. The only child a Seeker brought to the forest was me. At least according to Josho but the elders never did believe his story but they feared the great protector to send him away, to the dark ones.
My tummy rubble and they whisked me off to the kitchen. He served me up some of the stores that Cat and I had bought and other things I had never tried. I tasted each thing before I laid it in my mouth. Sable eyed me as I picked at the food in front of me. She was sizing me up. I could feel it. She was readying for battle. I did not want to battle her. She was my lord’s love and I would have to lose to serve him but couldn’t lose to serve my people. I just wanted out of this room.
Cufean noticed, Valoki helping me with my food and brought him some strange meats and laid them on the counter. Valoki muttered in my mind about not being a beast he would dine on china and moved his meal to my plate. I do so hold my friend close in my soul. Valoki mentions to my mind that the woman Sable was also sizing him up, that I best be on guard.
Cufean asked about the mates when they reached the forest “What does it change in them?”
I could not refuse him, the flame burned inside, “They become as we are, pure unto the whole. We of the flame, we of the elven ways, of the elven kind.”
“Would I be changed?” he asked me.
I thought Sable was going to fall off the counter she had perched on. She glared at him.” Are you planning on taking a trip Archer?”
“NO, he is not.” I answered for him
Archer covered Sable’s hand. “I am curious, love. She lives in a realm I have not found in my travels. I have told Raven that I could never exist in her land. “he looked over to me, “It would be against my nature, Raven ”
Sable nodded, lifting the glass to her lips, watching me closer to see my reaction as she settled back. I never lifted my eyes from my plate and Valoki screaming warnings in my mind for me to be quiet.
“What of the dark ones?” Cufean asked. How could I refuse him, “Who are they?”
Valoki screamed in my mind, “Don’t tell them. It is wrong.”
I spoke back in Valoki’s mind “Hush dear friend. You can feel it to. I must answer him.” Without lifting my eyes from my plate I answered, “The evil, the anger, the hurtful ones, who carry only hate in their hearts. The one who would destroy the peace of our way and extinguish the flame. They would have all that have joined the flame, all of life and knowledge be put out in a moment. ”
“How did they come to be, the dark ones?” he inquired more of me. I wanted to run. I wanted to leave but I had to answer, “A mistake.”
They grilled me like I was being testing for darkness. Valoki fumed, but as long as Cufean asked I had to answer. He was the one. I knew he was. He asked for a number of the land. I couldn’t tell that I did not know. We are listed not numbered. I gave him a guess. He told me that there was over 5 billion here and I asked how many were good and they both laughed and said very few.
It seemed this hell would never end, when Kara and Drakeon walked in. Thank the flame. I quickly spoke to Kara, “I have many items that Cat has bought for me. If you would like and all will excuse, I will show them to you.” I waited to be excused
Cufean spoke, “Raven, you need not ask to be excused … Do as you like …”
Finally he gave me leave. I bowed my head in Cufean’s general direction never lifting my eyes and fled from the room with Kara close behind. I heard him take a heavy sigh. We went to the room of books that I had left my belongings in and I tried to speak to her and asked her to be a friend. I decided later no. She is a little sister. The couple came and invaded my escape. They clung on each other and the intentions was in their every move. Cufean asked for Kara to restrict my knowledge and NOT ALLOW. Who did he think he was? He might be the dream, he might be the one I choice to serve, but by the flame he was not my keeper! He lies to me and tears my soul has me betray my own self and than tries to dictate my movement. I am not a slave of the dark. I am a Seeker and I will seek where I wish. I let him know this in fewer than ten words. If he has the brain I know he has, I think he knows. The fire in my veins burned and my mind welled in the fury but I could not let them know. I will play this game. I will learn this game so well that I will win it. Who knows what the prize is, who cares? I am Raven of the Fireoak forest, Seeker, Protector, Teacher and Mate. Above all I am Woman hear me roar. Valoki roared in my mind. An evil little smile crept upon my lips as the false union faded into the thin air. I closed my eyes and pushed down the dark feeling I just described. I need air.
Kara showed me to a room where I was to stay and Drake stood guard as I laid my new things in a corner. I kept Cufean’s cloak on my shoulders. No matter how the emotions where flowing I could not deny him. Warmth at his thought flowed through my essence. We decided to go and do something. Sing, play, whatever that might happen. As we left the room there stood the most intriguing man I had meet so far.
His name was Nick. He was dressed in a cream colored shirt, charcoal slack and barefoot. He carried him self-more like one, not of this world. His golden eyes had a hint of deep age. His words where chosen and more cunning then the others. He off handedly mentions that Drake is Dragon kin. Valoki screamed in my mind to be careful and not to play with this one. He is not what he seems. Valoki seemed scared. I tried to escape with Kara but his attention was now on us. He asked of us who I was and I proudly announced my self in full title. Nick went to touch Valoki and Valoki hissed and dodged his touch. I was sure my buddy was very afraid.
“Cufean handed me books of Nick are you the one and same?” I questioned to break the exchange I was not understood between Drake and Nick.
Nick bowed his head, “Indeed.” Nick laughed in a low deep rumbling laugh when I mentioned Cufean. There was another way to play this game. It was spoke in the laugh of this man. I pushed the thought away. He asked to go for a stroll and I asked to get some more of the food I could keep in my belly. The boysen berry pie. He thought that was funny to.
We all piled into a box type cart that had four wheels and it made noise of the crying sky of my first night here. He “drove” very fast and the wind moved across me as if in flight. I think I like this. I let my pain move out of me and the chill of the air soothed the burning in my veins. We went to a stone building and ate of pie and drank of milk. My stomach was full and my body wanted movement.
Nick let me out of the booth. I know he wanted to talk of my duty but I wanted to be free. I went to the nearest tree and climbed it branches. Valoki fluttered around my head. Then a red thing swooped down upon my buddy. I jumped and dived and kept myself between the two. The branches ever so thin on this baby tree but I had used smaller. The others watched and tried to join in my peril. I jumped from the top of the tree and rolled safely to the ground with Valoki diving into my waiting arms.
Kara changed into her other self and shot up in the sky. Drake shot past her and the red thing changed into a mighty red dragon and dived at Chammie. I opened my mind and toss power forth to hurt him but he was too big. Kara summoned the lightening and blasted his hide. I gathered my senses, this was a dragon. I attacked a dragon. They where attacking a dragon. It was a hope beyond hope but I opened my minds eye again and command him to land before me. HE DID!
Drakeon landed in front of us, his eyes were filled in anger. I stood to protect the great beast. He probably was laughing at me at that very moment. I know I was small but if I did really called him down than I would have to protect him too. I questioned him of the attack and he did said in truth, “he did not actual attack any one.” It was the way we had perceived it. I stroked his snout and asked what he did with Nick. He was amused and looked into my eyes with one of his golden ones. He was Nick. I stepped back feeling like a stupid child. He had only been playing with us. I felt so silly. Dragons of my land never showed but in true form but the tales they told where of many. I just never thought the land of cold and green still had them among the numbers.
We talked but a crowd was forming. “Do you give ride?” I questioned and he smiled a ferocious smile of large sharp teeth.
“Would you like a ride?
“It would be an honor.” I climbed up his scales as he lowered a wing ramp for Kara. I took my place in the curve on a scale and lay my hands under the edge of the one above. I stroked the soft skin under the scale. He shifted to position our weight to his liking and than bounded into the air carrying us off. Drakeon followed behind but had not the strength and speed of Nick. He was a very old and Drake barely on this world. Dragons I understood, they had taught me as far back as I had been. He took us on a ride like none I had ever been before. The whole of my teaching was but a spec of what was needed. We returned to the hut of Nick that he called a Mansion. Kara looked at a timekeeper and excused herself, “Have to run things to do.” I thank the great one for the ride and he said any time.
I grinned, “Any time?” He nodded. “Then can we do it at the rising of the sun.” He smiled and agreed.
Nick went to tend to his other “duties”, who knows what that might be for one of his kind and I went to write and read. Scott Durham of Paris was in the room of books. I smiled at him. I sat and wrote and than took up a book when I could think no longer on the wonders of the day.
My blood began to boil but I pushed further into the book. My mind drifted to my dream but I returned to the page of my book. I thought of many things and was easing myself back to peace when the radio sounded. Little Sister was in trouble. Scott became Cpt. Victory and took me into a plane. That is a flying machine that keeps you inside. I open my minds eyes and followed Chammie. She was down and hurt and fading and this machine was not going fast enough.
At last we arrived to where the signal had first been sent but the thing was moving to the water. I gave instructions from what I saw and Cpt. flew to the creature that carried her off. He was heading to a boat on the water I open my mind and blasted his. He staggered but jumped to the boat as the Cpt. Let loose with a “missile”. The boat was moving away and Drake had arrived on the pier. Cpt. had his machine follow and keep above the boat. I blasted the mind once more and the “missile” exploded.
Little Sister was sinking. Her mind barely there. Cpt. Dove into the water and went under it. It was dark and I yelled out to follow Valoki. Valoki circled where she was and corrected every time the water moved her. Captain dove again. The Big Drake took on dragon and dove into the water and the waves pushed captain away from Kara. I had heard his machine making noises but Valoki screamed for me to jump I looked into the darkness of the water and jumped. A great ball of flame and erupted from the machine and it fell into the water only feet away from me. I held on to my staff and my buddy and stiffen my body. What else could I do? I was not of the water. Slowly I started to sink. The coolness of the water soothed my burning veins. I held my breath as Cufean had shown me on the beach and I sank into the depth.
Drakeon pulled me up and had little sister on claw. He swooped again and Captain grabbed his tail. He landed on the land and dropped us. I ran to little sister and she was not breathing I placed my lips on hers and blew. I pushed upon her chest and repeated. A drain was coming over me. Drake took over the breathing and captain took over the heart. I open my mind and touched hers to let her know, to come back to us. She coughed up water and began to breathe. I took her in my arms and hugged her. Thank the flame she lived.
Much of everything was going on now. Cars after cars of people where showing up. At first I played than I noticed the warm fluid running down my arm. It was Valoki, he was dying. All the anger of all the worlds that ever was tore me in a million pieces. Some one stopped me from pulling the rod that pierced my spirit mate. “CUFEAN!!!!!” I screamed. Some where through time and space the flame blessed me and he arrived but on his arm he had HER!
Spock took us to Nick’s mansion and Valoki was placed in a case. I growled and scowled and took protection over him. They stood around talking as if nothing was wrong. So happy and cheerful. Visions of tearing the smiles off their faces crept in my mind and I stood. Cufean pawing her in front of me and calling her love. Nick and a female Rouge was there. I cared not. I just wanted my Valoki. I think Nick could sense my anger and the dark taking over me. He moved to the case and removed my buddy. I held back trying not to mistrust him. Valoki was whole. He flew to my shoulder and rested. I requested to be excused. But Cufean wished to torture me. He called her his love again and smiled so brightly. Drakeon excused me. I will repay the kindness to him.
I ran from the room and out to the night and screamed in the anguish I was holding. I leapt into a tree and enter the room of my things and changed. I jumped out without form and ran. I ran as fast and as hard as my limbs could carry me. I ran from my anger. I ran from my hurt. I ran from failures. I ran from my dream.
I entered the city. I walked the streets looking at all that was around. The men looked at me and I looked back. I saw a line of people both male and female lined up at building. One of the men smiled at me and I smiled back as I passed. “Hi.” He jumped from the line and ran next to me.
“Can I buy you a drink? He asked. I agreed. I could use something to soothe my throat. The line was moving and he took my hand back to where his friend was.” My name is Tom and this is Gary. What’s yours?”
“I am Raven.”
They took me inside. Smoke filled the air and music pulsed the walls. The people danced. They each brought me a drink. I tasted the first and realize it was of the distilled type. Kind of like Firewater. I drank the first and it made the hurt dim. I danced with Tom. I sat back down and two more drinks where there. I still had another. I drank it. It dimmed the hurt more.
Valoki whispered in my mind, “Don’t drink those they are dimming your wits.”
I replied, “You are safe and I need to celebrate.”
Valoki hissed into my mind, “If anything happens you will owe me one promise.” “Alright little friend. Just let me enjoy.”
I drank and danced from man to man. The pain went away. I felt like I was part of the flow of music. Then little Sister was next to me. I don’t know if she was there or not but she had to sing and dance and enjoy the celebration of life. She did.
Drake came in with a scowl on his face and started trouble. Tom and Gary took us to a car and we headed to a place called a park. My mind began to fog. Numbness was taking over. I felt his lips upon mine. Sweet Cufean kissing me in the passion I so needed but it wasn’t him. Kara helped me out of the car and we walked in the night. The Stars looked down on me and spoke words of cold. I reached for them but they beckoned me upwards. I obeyed and than darkness of the cold green took my spirit. I felt the anger come forth from my belly. It released it self and a foul odor surrounded me. Gentle hands wiped my face. I opened my eyes for a moment and saw my own looking back. I closed mine and let the dark have me.
When I awoke a new found pile of my inner laid on the floor. Cat lay on the soft pillow a few inches from me. I took my self into the refresh room and cleaned as I was taught and than cleaned the mess I made. I washed out all that reek with my anger and hate. My head throbbed and my spirit was heavy.
I will end this log and will write later. Maybe to my people but what can I tell them? That I allowed the dark to take over, that I “love” a dark one? That’s right “love” is a dark thing for you will put one above the many for your own self-pleasures. But I do love and it hurts.