Pam’s Record
Feb 18, 2001
Icehawk stepped off the elevator into the penthouse. He moved silently to the bedroom, carefully opening the door, peeking in. The bed was empty. Where was she? He stepped through the door, “Pam?”
Pam lifted her head just over the side of the bed. She had been on the floor doing pushups. She sheepishly peered at James, looking guilty as sin. The doctor told her not to exercise or strain herself, the lost of the child had taken so much from her but there she was trying to work out.
“She’s at the warehouse in the sands.” He looked down in disapproval, “How are you feeling, hon?”
Pam raised to her feet in a swift motion of pure graceful energy, “Stiff.”
“The sand worked okay?” he took her in his arms, “How’s your tummy?”
“I am feeling a little sore but I am feeling okay, just stiff.”
“Any bleeding?” he raised her chin with his finger, for a better view of her lovely hazel eyes.
“Yeah a little but not gushing like before.”
“Back to the sand!” he ordered
“No.” she objected.
“You can lay next to Linda…” The pause was like a death sentence, “Pam!?”
Pam thought the worst as she filled with fear. It was her fault they had taken her. Her fault for not dancing. All she had to do was one dance and none of this would have happened. She asked, “How bad is she? What did they do to her?”
Softly he spoke in her ear pulling her tightly to him, “They used drugs, beat her.”
Her eyes filled, voice broke, “I should have just danced.”
“No recriminations. We will visit pain on them.”
Pam pulled from him allowing her body to fall on the bed. “Now what do I do?” her hand found a pillow, than pulled it over her face to cry into. “What am I suppose to do now?”
James sat on the bed, laying a hand on her tummy. “What do you want to do?”
“I want three of me.” She pulled the pillow off and placed under her head, “One to go hold Linda’s hand, one wants to stay with you and one…” She broke the thought, “What am I suppose to do?”
“What is that?”
Pam rolled to her side, “I need to see her. She would be there for me.”
“I’ll take you.” He stood up holding out his hand to her.
“Guess I will have to get a cell phone too.” Pam murmured.
“I’ll get you one…”
“Linda will have to change all her business cards.” Pam tried to smile, “She will need a new number.”
“She doesn’t need a new card.” James snickered, “She’s my new Personal assistant.”
“Stole my manger from me.”
James looked a little guilty.
“Guess I will have to go back to clubs.”
“No!” he exclaimed, a moment of panic in his eyes
“How else will I pay my bills?”
James says in exasperation “Pam!?”
“James, I am a dancer.” Pam raised with aid of his hand; “I love to dance.”
“Look, regardless of what happens between us.” James eyes where soft, caring, “I want you help you with your dance. I want to get you an instructor, a professional.”
“They cost lots of money.” Pam sighed, “and I’m not good enough.”
“Pam!?” James shook his head, “Forget about money.”
“What would you do if I started to spend your cash and got use to it?” Pam so much didn’t want to be seen as a gold digger. She wanted James so much, she only wished he had been a poor boy. “You would think me just like all the other users.”
“Don’t you understand? I don’t care.”
“But I care.” She walked to the door with him and across to the elevator.
“And not ONE of them would have said that, Not one. Not one would worry about spending a cent.” He stopped her in front of the doors, “They’d take and take. You are the only one that cares.”
Pam stared into his eyes, “But what if I become like that.”
“You won’t.” he smiled, “You have personal integrity.”
“How can you be so sure, when I am not?” She laid her head on his chest, “It felt really weird spending your money at Christmas and all the clothes you bought me.” She looked up into his face. No, he didn’t understand. How could he understand what she didn’t want to be. “I need to get to Linda.”
James spoke tenderly to her, “The clothes were a gift.”
“Still feels funny, besides my mom and dad, you are the only one who ever bought me anything.” She turned away to the huge mirror hanging on the wall.
“If you disappeared from my life tomorrow, do you think I would regret a thing I have done over the last month?” a touch of pain peeked in the thought of losing her, “Do you think I’d begrudge you a cent I have spent on you?” James stepped up behind her, placing his hands on her tummy from behind.
Pam closed her eyes as a tear slips from it. James whispered in her ear, “I love you…”
“I think I love you too.” To admit that was hard. She thought those words would never again come from her lips, the pain of the past made it hard. This man that held her, she didn’t want to mislead, hurt, or ever leave.
“Then take all I want to give….please.” his lips rested in the crook of her neck, his blonde falling over his closed eyes.
“I..I” she looked at the him resting on her in the mirror. Emotion welled in her but no, it was the moment. Pam turned around. He raised his head and looked into hers. She forced a smile as she spoke, “Just not so much at one time okay. I can’t handle it. I still need to feel like I am doing my part. I haven’t been kept before.”
“Okay.” His smiled was warm and filled her making her reflect his. “Then do your part. Let me get you a teacher. Work your ass off getting better!”
“For what?” she asked. She saw a dangerous path that could rip them from each other in his words.
“The Dance!”
“Dance for who?” she inquired on his plans.
“Broadway, Musicals, A dancer’s lot is not stripping.” His belly knotted at the thought of another man ever seeing her dance like that again, except him.
Pam hugged him burying her tear in his chest. “Okay,” she surrounded to him, “I guess I should get to the warehouse.” She wiped her eyes and asked, “Why do you have to be so gentle?” Her mind swirled in fear, she felt fear only this great as the day left home.
“Because I love you.” James smiled, “Wear a coat, hon.”
The old trench coat was what her hand took from the rack, she looked at him and put it back pulling instead the warm expensive coat he had purchased for her in new York. James smiled wider, he understood the gesture. The coat he took from her and held it open. Pulling up over her shoulders and laying a kiss on her neck.
“Maybe you need a cop stopping by soon.” In a hush tone she spoke.
“I am a cop, remember.”
Pam turned around. He didn’t get it, “Ooooo, going to arrest me? I’ll loan you my cuffs.”
James grinned, now he had it, “Probably, of course with a full body search. But first.”
Pam finished for him, “Linda.”
James coaxed, “and?”
“And what?” she said incredulously.
“The sand, hon. I don’t want to hurt you.” The concern was sincere. “Ready to go?”
“Yes.”
James smiled, giving a hug and scooping her up in his arms. He cradled her like a child, pulling her close to him.
“Hey!” she protested playfully, “Am I a baby now?”
“You are.” He grinned, “Rather take a limo?”
“No,” the sparkle in her eyes spoke her words, “I like you arms. Guess you can get around easier this way.”
“Much easier.” He agreed, her fingers running through his hair stirring things with in him, “And you fit so nicely into my arms.”
“I love touching you too.” Her hand went to her bare neck searching for the lost necklace. She lost his child and his gift. The fear stayed in her gut like a empty space, cold and hard.
James grinned. “Please…touch….I love it.” His eyes turned pained at her motion. In a determined voice he pledged, “I am going to get it back, hon.”
Pam pulled her hand down from her neck, half a smile to him, “I still feel it there.”
“I know….”
“It’s okay.” Pam rested her head on his shoulder, “I will always remember it and the night you gave it to me.”
James stepped into the elevator holding her, her legs dangling from his arm, “That was the only gift I ever designed from my heart. I will get it back….”
“It is… was beautiful.” Pam still could see the refraction of light that mesmerized one to look at the snowflake sparkling off the fine chin that held it. If fit so well to come from him, her Icehawk. The cold snowy night of Christmas when he gave it to her sitting on the floor watching the fire dance in the hearth, was moment held in time for her.
“Take me to Linda.” She requested still letting her mind drift. “I think my daddy would like you.” The thought of her father pained her. No matter how long she stayed away from her family disowned and discarded, she missed them.
James smiled, “We’ll have to see.”
“Maybe some day.” She said wistfully.
James stepped out into the lobby. Every eye in this exclusive hotel was on them. Pam closed her eyes and pretended that no one but them existed. It was wrong to let him carry her like this in public, it was definitely not proper but he was Seattle Hunt who would dare stop him. He was so domineering over her in a gentle way, so opinionated but so irresistible to her.
“Will you come for me tonight.” Pam requested as she could feel his stride heading to the door and the sounds of the busy street grow louder, “I don’t want to sleep alone. Hate to leave Linda.”
“I’ll stay with you all night.”
She smiled as she opened her eyes, the wind was rushing by. He was sailing them on a sheet of ice. “Guess I am spoiled now.”
“We can stay with her. I am sure Cat is going to.”
Dread filled her, “But you can’t get in.”
“Raven gave me permission to enter as long as I am with Seattle hunt.”
Pam smiled, “I do love her. She is like a big sister. Planning on leaving anytime soon? I know Archer is band from it now.”
“That’s what I was wondering, if she thought I would leave.” He looked down at his tiny dancer, “Band? why? That doesn’t make sense.”
“Can you keep a secret?”
“I hope so.”
“I swore not to tell but you told me a secret that you swore not to.” She justified her motives.
“I know.”
She blurted out, “There is two of him.”
“Two of him?” he asked in disbelief, “What do you mean?”
“Some kind of time thing he went through.”
“Who did I get to talk to Laure?” He was perplexed, “Who did I talk to on the radio today?”
“If he loves raven it is the sorta good one. If he doesn’t know he loves her, he’s the ass hole.” She stated as a fact.
“Hold on now. I have never know Archer…” he shook his head the speed of their travel slowed, “I am confused.”
“Raven just told me in my travels with you not to mention her to Archer. If he spoke of her lovingly I could speak. If not I was to avoid him like the plague. I figure it is best to avoid him.”
“He’s a good man, hon.” James defended the man, “No matter which is which.”
Pam went quiet. She saw at that moment the one thing that could tear them apart. It was a plain as the sun in the sky, so she refused to speak of him.
“Don’t avoid Raven’s hon, you’d like him.” He said with confidence. She stayed quiet.
“Does Sue know?” he asked
“I don’t know.” He voice was flat.
“Did I mention him on Christmas?”
“No.”
“Did I mention Raven?” the look on his face showed her his mind raced, “Oh, man!
Sue’s a PI.” James sighed “Thank God I didn’t know then! I would have been a nervous wreck.”
“So now you got my secret.” She looked at him with a half smile, “Even Linda and William don’t know.”
“Who knows?”
“The older Archer, Raven, Me and You.. as far as I know.” Pam added, “She told me only because of my travels.”
“Thank God he doesn’t come up here much…” a hint of worry entered his voice, “He’s gotta be careful and not be seen.”
Pam nodded, “That’s way she doesn’t want you calling on him so much. She doesn’t want to lose him. He is her everything and I don’t want her in that kind of pain again.” She held back her feelings about Archer. She hated that man and what he did. Oh such a convinious to use the dragon to lay the blame on his own crimes. Pam held her tongue, James so did admire the that man.
“He need to take another ID.” James was deep in his thought.
Pam suggested, “Double eagle is a good name.”
James grinned “Double Eagle?”
“He carries coins, double eagles,” Pam thought of the things Raven had shared with her. Oh so many private things, “Made sense to me.”
“I guess I better not use him as a threat anymore.” James joked
Pam smiled, wanting to change the subject. “So has Raven joined you in her green family.”
James sets her on her feet at the gate, ” guess so….”
“She must really like you.”
He opened the gate for her and she strolled in. “James.”
“I promised to stop calling her “Boss Lady”, James looked at the fine lined figure he followed, “Yes, Pam?”
Pam bargained, “If I go in the sand, can we take a dip in the pool together?”
James smiled, “With or without clothes?”
“Without.”
“Audience?” he asked eyeing her as he closed the gate.
“Cat will be by the sands. I now a place with no clear view. Mystic won’t care. William would be to embarrassed. Raven will be with he Cufaen. Who will watch?” she ended taking a side glance at him.
James seemed intrigued by her offer, “And is this before or after you do the sands?”
“When you are willing.” She place a kiss on his cheek.
James had an evil grin across his face, “If we wait until after. Perhaps we can make love.”
“Either way we have the sands.” Pam smiled at the thought of his passion, “I want to.”
James laced his fingers in hers leading to the edge of the healing sands. She knelt beside Linda and kissed the girls forehead. Pam laid down next to Linda in a compliant manner.
Her voice was soft and even, “James so ahead and bury me.”
His hands moved quickly in the hot sands, ignoring the discomfort it caused him. It looked like scene on a beach two bodies cover in the warm sands.
“So how long do you want me in here?” she asked, she still held a n even tone to the uneasy feeling she felt.
“Until you are fully healed…” he smiled lovingly down at her. James laid a hand protectively over her tummy.
She couldn’t help but smile back, the sweetest thing in the world could not compare to expression of love he held on his face. “How will we know that?” she asked.
She moved her hand from under the sand, his quickly too it. Hours pasted with him at her side. Cat coming in to be with Linda and leaving only when nature called. Cat had just fallen to sleep when she rolled over letting the sand fall to each side, uncovering her.
Pam whispered, “James how about that dip.”
“I wish I knew if you were completely healed.”
“We can sleep in here afterwards.”
James brushed the sand off her, helping her to uncover. She stood to her feet the sand trickled from her bra and panties.
James grinned, “Oh, I has hoping to brush that off of you.”
Pam looked at the sleeping Simon laying next to Linda. She thought how wrong they where for each other but so right. The thought of Raven and her miss match love sprung to mind and of her own path. Pam whispered, “come on”
James stood slowly, they joined hands and she lead him into the dense wood area around the massive waterfall. It was so hard to believe one was in a building with such magnificent nature surrounding them.
James spoke in the appreciation of the tiny grove near the main fall, “It’s beautiful here….”
“Yes, It is the most beautiful place I have ever been.” Pam took a deep breath not wanting this moment between them to ever end. Just this moment to last for all times, “It is paradise.” In her soul she felt as long as they where within these walls nothing could break them or tear them from each other.
“Specially with you in it.” He stroke her cheek.
The words was what she felt. To be here with him, nothing stand between them just the binding wonder of the emotions they shared.
Pam smiled as she unhooked her bra the sand still covering her. “That stuff gets into every where.” She brushed the particles from her skin.
“I hope not EVERYWHERE.” James joined in brushing sand off her breasts.
Pam unbuttoned his shirt. “How did you stand the warm sands in all these clothes. I was dying in my under things
“I am air conditioned.” James smiled as he slipped off his shirt.
Pam leaned back on a boulder watching him. He toed off his shoes.
Her hands moved her panties of as she spoke, “This is the deeper end. Hope you can swim. She moved to the edge of the pool as she watched him unbuckle his belt and unhook his slacks. She took two quick steps and jumped into the air. The water divided, slipping over her. The flow circled where she entered and he saw her no more.
James slide the slack off, dropping them on the grass, pulled off his socks and quickly removed his briefs. He approached the edge and waded into the water.
Pam surfaced under a stone ledge by the water fall. The fall hit the ledge and cascaded down in front of her.
James waded into the water, he flinched.
“What’s wrong James?” Pam swam to his side.
James sighed, “Water and I don’t get along very well.”
“You sound like Raven.”, She chuckled, pressing her body against him.
“But Raven doesn’t loose her powers in the water.”
“You mean you are just like any other guy now?”
“As soon as the pain goes away.”
“Pain?” she didn’t want him in pain, “This is hurting you?”
“It’s like your whole body was asleep and it’s waking up. You know…pins and needles…”
Pam pushed on him in worry, “Than get out.”
“I only lasts for a few moment. I’m alright, hon…trust me.”
“Wish I had a snowball.” She forced a smile, “I would test it out.”
James held up a hand and tried to make a snowball. “Nope.. sorry.”
His breath became lighter more at ease. Slowly he sank into the pool vanishing from her. Her eyes scanned the surface of the pool looking for him to surface
His head surfaced several yards further out, the water spiraled off him as he tossed his head from side to side. Pam circled in the water.
James grinned, watching her swim. “I didn’t think it was possible…”
“What?” she continued her circle around him.
He rotated in place eyes staying on her, “You are even more graceful in the water….”
The redness of blush still came to her cheeks, “I love to swim too.” She closed the circle, each circle becoming tighter around the center the center being him. “So what do you love to do.”
James treaded water, “Skate…”
“Nothing else?” she finished one tight circle almost touching him and veered off towards the falls.
“Hmm…” He began to swim after her, “I have spent most of the last four years playing hero.”
Pam grabbed the ledge again “When’s your birthday?”
“March 15th…the Ides of March.”
Pam pushed the water in a wide sweep, purposely splashing him.
James wiped the water from his eyes, smiling. “What’s behind the waterfall”
“More forest.”
James swam over to the veil of the falls and ducked under it. Pam followed his lead. He pulled himself up onto a ledge, than helped her to the slab the water a curtain between them and the forest.
“Now this is private..” James pulled her close. Her lips meet his, only the bead of water separating their skin. “Mmmm…” he moaned sliding his hands down her back and under the curve of her butt.
Pam pushed the wet lock that fell in his face, “James.”
James nuzzled her ear, “Yes, Pam.”
“I want you.” The words where simple the statement far more. Pam wanted him. Not only in the physical nature but in the whole. She wanted to drink from him and take him within and never let go.
James kissed her throat, “I want you too….”
“I want ever sinful sip.” Pam moved to his lips. She wondered if he understood.
“Mmmm….” he moaned as he parted his lips allowing tongues to dance.
The passion increased. The embrace became heated. Pam pulled her kiss back and moved her cheek against his, catching her breathe.
James whispered into her ear, “I love you….”
Pam hesitated for a moment, “I love you too.”
James held her still for a long moment. His breath warm and soft on her skin.
“James.”
“Yes, Pam?”
“You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.” She kissed his neck and pulled back to look into his eyes. James sighed deeply and smiled, his eyes only for her. The words came out softly, “You are soooo gentle.” She again pressed her lips to his. “Let’s go to my room.”
James hissed “Yesss”
Pam dived through the curtain, back in the pool, the length of the pool quickly vanished as she pulled her self out. James followed matching her strokes.
Up the ladder to the beams, into the small hut that was hers.
James smiled, “This place grows on you….”
“It does and the longer you’re here the more you love it.” Pam room was small, a mat with thick quilt on it, a few items of clothes and an old photo on the wall.
“Cozy…” James stated looking at the room that was smaller than any of his closets.
Pam dropped the screen, the room fell into total darkness. Her hand touched his and pulled him to the soft quilt the scent of her perfume lightly on the cloth.
The kisses returned. In each others arm they entangled their bodies as the desires sparked.