Lord Cravenhaw
I stood on the shore of the water and turned to the east. The pain in me ached through every fiber as I closed my eyes and remembered the first. In his arms he raised me high above the trees. He held me in mid air and I was lost within his eyes, lost within in arms. I felt my blood stir as the cool wind blew across my bare skin. The warmth of the sun bathed me as the sun broke to the new day of the green. I opened my eyes and took in a deep breath. I was above the city. I began to descend quickly. I closed my eyes, brought back the feeling of floating. In my mind I felt the small push that took me up. I opened my eyes and I climbed higher. I held myself over the city watching it come alive. The sun shone and the city stirred, I lowered myself back to the land of the green.
I walked the streets. I was but a reflection of what I was. I stood outside myself and made my way through this play to a place of rest. The room was small but it was large enough for my need. I fell upon the bed, still dressed. I heard a faint cry of a baby. The pain in me ached through every fiber as I closed my eyes. The cry grew louder. I held my hands over my ears and buried my head with a pillow. I longed for my babies. I felt the living art shifting. I thought of the sweet ones I left. I could see the sweet green eyes. Her hair of the dawn and his of the night. Her tiny face in slumber. My mind awoke and formed a picture split into two parts. She laid in a cradle with Turlinde standing over her. His hand tucking in a blanket around her. The other half of the picture was of my son. He wiggled and squirmed in the great palm of the dragon that held him. I could see my children and knew they were safe. Tears streamed down my faces as I watched them in joy and sorrow. Sleep came to me through the tears I could not hold back, but I did dream.
**The sky was dark and star-splattered, all about were great white barked trees with silver and green leaves that sparkle from the lights of thousands of tiny fires. High up in the branches a veritable city was aglow and at the base of the trees hundreds danced and sang. All were very tall, in many cases taller than my love whose arm I held. Every single one there was elven. My one and only spoke, “This is Laurelindorenan, the Land of the Valley of Singing Gold, love, welcome.”**
I moved from my slumber, tears staining my face and knelt upon the floor. I held my heart as I felt it was about to bust. My mind ached from the power throbbing within. I felt the art sliding upon me. I did not understand. I didn’t know what to do. I just wanted this to end. I wanted peace. I wanted solitude. I wanted . . .
I saw the gate open before me. It grew larger. I leaned into the gate and slipped through to the road. The buses repeated the air was dry and warm. I took the jar from my cloak and placed it where I stood. It was only pickles and I had long since grown tired of the taste. I sat next to the jar. I fished from my bag my log and began to write like an elder.
“My Name is Raven. I am of the line of the Fireoak elves. I live in the land of the cold and green and it is called earth. I have my two children hidden on the road. I have a love that is lost to me. I have been marked for greatness with the living art of dragons. If I lose my mind on this road. I pray to the flame this entry will open my mind to myself. My mind is the tool of ages, not all I will list but with my mind I can speak in the minds of other, move things with thought and open the gate to the road. I go now to the calling of my mind.”
I stood to the fullness of my height and scanned the land. I could almost feel the place of my daughter and that of my son. I turned away from both. I could not return to them yet. I was called to this place for a reason but I did not know why. I walked the road. It felt good here. No pain. I turned off the road and found a nice little spot to rest. I cleared my mind. I thought of nothing. I became real to my surroundings. The gate open and I entered.
I opened my eyes to where I did not know. The tears of the sky fell cold upon my face. He wore a long shapeless cloak of gray velvet, once perfectly extravagant, now played downed with wear and rain. His hair was yellow and long, full of random light and unruly in the dampened state, even studded with drops of dew. His golden eyebrows framed his long curling eyelashes. The lightning flashed and his cobalt blue eyes rested on mine. I felt his strong arms lift me from the ground and carry me.
I heard him speak as I drifted off into the blackness, “Such a lovely wet rat you are.”
I opened my eyes and I was in a soft bed. A roaring fire sent shadows dancing across the walls of the darkened room. My cloak and bag lay on a stand next my head. I looked under the cover and saw I still wore my body suit. I rolled under the warm quilt and looked to the floor to find my gloves and boots. The room reminded me of somewhere.
The door opened and light flooded into the room. He stood within the frame; his body was a silhouette cast by the light. “So my wet rat is awake.” He walked to the bedside and sat beside me. “So, what shall we call you?”
I looked into his eyes; I felt a pain in my soul, “I don’t know.”
“Well, then let’s look into your belongings.” He picked up the bag, “I waited till you where awake.” He pulled a shirt from it. “Hmmm, looks a little big for such a tiny thing as you, as are these.” He pulled the robe and other shirt. A book fell to the floor. “Ah, what is this?” I sat up. His eyes danced upon my form. “I think you need to stay covered. I might forget I am a gentleman.” His eyes flashed in lust as he smiled. He opened the book. “Such a strange hand it is in. Here read it to me.” He handed me the book.
I opened the book and stared at the word, “My Name is Raven. I am of the line of the Fireoak elves.”
He smiled brightly as I read, his eyes closing as if the sound was music to him.
“Fireoak Elf? I never heard of such a creature and Raven is no name for one so lovely as you. We will have to do better than that. I shall call you Yesmine. You are now under my protection. So rest and I will get you suitable clothing.” He pulled the jeans from the bag. He shook his head. “You will not need to dress as a man. No one will dare touch you now.” He looked at the staff inspecting it closely. “Yes I will have use of you.” He laid it against the wall. “I will be in the next room if have need. Now rest.”
“I could use something warm to drink.” I found my voice.
He smiled, “I will have it brought to you. Rest. We will talk in the morning.” He walked back to the door closing it behind him.
I was not sleepy. I sat in the bed and read. A young woman scurried carrying a small tray with a pot and a cup. Her hair was drawn up and her clothing plain. The skirt she wore was long and touched the ground. Her hand shook as she poured the cup and handed it to me.
“Would you like anything else?” she bowed slightly.
“Could you tell me where I am and who the kind gentleman is that brought me here?”
The girl’s eyes flashed in fear but spoke in a trembling voice, “You are in the Lands of Cravenhaw and the Lord himself brought you in from the storm.” She paused; “If that will be all, miss?” she bowed again.
“Thank you.” The girl did not wait for me to finish and scurried quickly from me. I drank the dark brew. It was bitter but warm. I walked to the window. The storm had passed and a few raindrops fell.
I opened it wide and looked out. There were mountains to the east and south. The range was not especially tall or harsh. Its peaks were old and time of many seasons had worn them down. The valley below was thick with the woodlands. The darkness and shadows hide most details from my eye. Off to the west tiny lights could be seen, my mind told me a town or village. I closed the window.
I gathered the items he had dropped to the floor. Folding the shirts of . . . I thought on that hard and pressed them to my face and inhaled. A faint scent was on them. I smile at the thought and the pain quickly rushed in to fill me. The book said, ‘lost love’. I gathered all that was mine. I slid the jeans on and one of the shirts. The boots slipped on nicely and my gloves felt good. The rest of my things, except the cloak, I placed in the bag, careful to secure my book. Around my shoulders I placed my cloak drawing it tightly around me. In my hand I took my staff and opened the door.
Another fireplace roared in lively flames. The shadows danced in the full color of the blaze. There stood two chairs and a table before the hearth. Each angled to view the flame and reach the table between. A plush carpet sat beneath the chairs to cover the cold gray stone of the floor.
As I stepped into the room my arm was wrenched behind my back as a knife came to my throat. The staff fell and skittered across the stone and rolled unto the carpet. “So where do you think you are going rat?”
I found no words. He spun me around and drew me hard into him his knife now pointed to just behind my ear. His eyes where glazed over and his smile that of the dark.
“Last chance to answer.” The knife began to press against my skin.
“I could not sleep. So I thought I would walk.” He threw me away, in a motion so sudden I spun and landed hard on the floor next to my staff.
His eyes scanned my body and he picked up a metal tankard from a shelf of books. He sat on a long bench that was just to the left of the door below the shelves. He watched me. I sat up and moved my hand to my staff.
“Pick that up, rat and it will be the last thing you do.” I drew my hand back. He eyed me as he dropped the mug to the floor. He stood to the fullness of his height loomed over me. “Now little rat!” he reached down. His hand roughly wrenched my wrist pulling me to my feet. He pulled back his other hand readying for a strike. “You will tell me who sent you!”
“No one sent me.” My voice inflected the pain in my wrist.
His hand sailed through the air striking my face hard. “YOU LIE!” He screamed as he pulled me into him. “Do you think I am a fool? The De Danann is no more.” He twisted my arm high up my back causing great pain to shoot through my shoulder. His other hand brushed my hair back and he stared at the tips of my ear. His fingers ran around the edge of it.
“Please,” I begged, “You are hurting me. No one sent me.” I felt a tear welling in my eye.
The anger left his face and a sweetness took its place. “And her beauty did make the Gods weep”. He loosened his grip on my arm but still held it. His lips lowered down to mine. I turned away. His anger flashed once more. My body sailed across the room to the padded bench he had sat on. My head hit the wall and I felt warmth running down my face as I felt my self-slipping into a fog. He lumbered over me and lifted me in his arms. I drifted off into blackness as I felt his lips press hard against mine.
Again I awoke in the same chambers. The fire had died to embers. My head ached. The pounding was immense. I sat up and my head spun. The side of it throbbed with soreness. I stood up. My clothing even my cloak was still on me. My bag was still tucked hidden under my cloak. I looked for my staff but it was not with me. I walked to the window and opened it. The sun was just lighting the morning sky. I opened my lips and sang to the sun. I sang to . . . who was it that I sang to? The pain welled inside me and tears flowed as the sun broke into the fullness of morning.
He cleared his throat. I slowly turned to face him. He held my staff in hand and stared at me. The silence echoed in the room, broke only by the embers snapping occasionally. I started to back away from the window. He watched my every move. His face was a blank but his blue eyes danced at my movement.
I could stand the silence no more. “What is it you want of me?” He smiled and moved toward me. I backed up. He continued his approach. My back felt the wall against it and I started to slide along it. He said nothing. Moving quickly, he pinned me against the stone, with an arm at either side of me.
“Are you afraid me, blood of the De Danann?” He leaned his head; his lips touched my forehead.
“No,” I said in a low voice.
“Good, I won’t want my treasure to fear me.” Lord Cravenhaw spoke, as he pushed himself back, his empty hand coming up to stroke my check. My check ached even at the gentle touch of his hand. “One should not enter a room without warning me first.” His hand cupped my chin. “Fair Yesmine, you will learn how to please your new Lord and in turn I, your new Lord, will grace you with gifts. If for even a moment you entertain the thought of betraying me, I will take the breath from your body.” He stepped back. “Come with me so you may eat.” He took my hand and tugged. His stride was long and I need to take hurried steps lest I be dragged.
Men at arms lined the corridor and servants ran from his glare. Up and down winding stairs and through halls we went. I was lost in the maze he pulled me through. He slammed open a set of great wooden doors that opened into a grand hall. In the center stretched a long polished table with many chairs to each side of its length. My mind spun. I had seen something like this before but where . . .
“You will sit here!” Lord Cravenhaw proclaimed. He pulled a chair to the left of the end. I sat in the chair and he sat at the end. “This is my seat.” He stared at me as I looked around the room. “FOOD! NOW!” he ordered. The servants appeared with plates, cups, and silver. The food was rushed out. My plate was laden with piles of all. He smiled as he began to eat still watching me. “What’s wrong, does not the De Danann need to eat in this realm?” he shook his golden mane back. He held his head high and waited for me to speak.
“I do need to eat but I am fear this is way too much. I have no idea where to begin in all of it.”
His laughter filled the room as it echoed off the walls. “I thought you might worry I was poisoning you.”
He took some of the food from my plate and ate it. “Which I am not. Your turn Yesmine. Eat.” I picked up my fork and took a bit of the food. It was tasteless and bland. I forced it down. He moved closer to me and brushed my hair behind my ear and ran his hand again across the pain in my face. “Sing for me. Sing like you did this morning.” He leaned back into his chair.
”I know no songs of your people.”
He bounded to his feet and slammed his hands on the table. “I TOLD YOU TO SING. I AM NOT USE TO REPEATING MY SELF.” He screamed, his voice lowered and his eyes narrowed, “I will forgive this time but you will do as you are told the moment I tell you. Do you understand, Rat.” He roughly pressed his hand to my check and the pain grew. “This little bruise is nothing compared to what you will receive if you disobey. Understand?”
I turned my head away from him. I understood but I was not going to obey. His anger flared as he went to grab me. I slipped down under the table. He erupted in anger and knocked the chair across the room. “Come here Rat!” he ordered, “I am really trying to be nice but I will not have this!”
I rolled out from the table on the other side, “And I won’t have it either. I am not yours.”
He leaped over the table sending the plates of food to the floor. He stood in front of me and lunged at me. I jumped and flipped over him as he fell staggered. “So Little Rat. You show your true colors.”
“I show nothing.” I stated eyeing my options in the room. I heard the footsteps of many running toward the door. The servants peeked inside the room and watched our dance. “I am not your servant, nor anyone else’s!” He dove to grab me and I jumped to the table.
His anger grew. The door opened and men rushed in. The surrounded the table and pulled me off it. “Let her go!” he ordered. The men released me. “No man will touch her. You hear me! I am the only one to get that pleasure.” The all stood still. “See Rat? In a word I could order them to kill you to. Now you come here and sit back down or I will order them all to touch you.” His eyes danced with an evil. “Trust me you won’t like the touch.”
I moved through the men each stepping away to keep me from even brushing them. “I will sit but I will not obey. I am not yours.” One of the men moved a chair to the place of the missing one and I sat.
He laughed. “Away with you all. Let me and the lady be alone.” He sat back down looking at me. I stood upright in the chair. “You know I should kill you.”
“Then why don’t you?”
His smile grew across his face, “Because in all the lands I have fought in, in all the women I have taken to my bed, I have never seen such as you.” He again moved closer to me. “I had planned on doing this so differently.” He left his chair and circled around to the back of mine and whispered in my ear. “I had wanted you to see the gentle side of me but I fear that side is nearly gone. Your beauty stirs it in me.”
His hand gently stroked my good cheek. “It has been a life time ago since I felt this in me.” He placed his cheek against mine. “I am use to taking what I want and destroying that which I don’t.” He knelt besides my chair. “You, my Rat, were wisely chosen by my enemy. Whoever sent you knows me too well.” His blue eyes where soft as they looked into my green.
“No one sent me.”
His hand reached up and brushed my hair back revealing my ear, “Why do you lie to me?”
“I lie not.” I shivered from the touches of his hand to my ear.
“Really? I don’t believe you.” He stood up and looked down at me. “There are only two types of people in this world. Those who seek to kill me and those who fear me. Which one are you?”
I stood up. He sat upon the table. I looked to his eyes, “I do not wish your flame nor do I fear you.” I stood there and waited.
He lifted his hands and gathered my hair. “Why do I want you so and still not take what is my right as the lord of this land?”
“I don’t know.” I moved a step back but his hold to my hair keep me close. He released my hair.
He stood to his feet, “I do not trust you, Rat but I will keep you close to me. Now let us start again. ”
He held the chair. “Would you like something to eat, Yesmine?”
I hid a secret smile within, “Yes, Lord Cravenhaw. That would be ever so nice.” The servants replace the plates and food and cleaned quickly and departed.
He eyed me again. “I really don’t know what I will do with a female as brave as you.”
“What would do if I was a male?”
“I would train him to be my agent in war and watch him carefully.”
“What will you do with me again?”
“I will keep you close to me and watch you carefully” He smiled, “Women do not do combat, Yesmine. You are born for the pleasure of the eye and the pleasure of the body.”
“Thank the flame I am not a woman but a female of the elf kind. It is not my purpose in life to be just a toy.”
“Very well then,” His grins broaden, “We will train you in war. You will not only be kept close to me but will have to earn your way to my side in combat.” His face lightened. “Will you please honor me with a song?”
I closed my eyes and opened myself to a song within.
“I Wish To Walk This Land
Let Me Sing a New Song
Let Me Dance across the Plains
Let Me Dance across Mountains
Let Me Dance across Low Valleys
Let Me Dance So That I May Sing
Let Our Hearts Sing
Let Us Dance Across the Earth
Let Us Dance Across the Sky
Let Us Sing
Let Us Dance
It Is Good
So We Dance On Together
Let Me Sing a New Song
Let Me Dance.”
His eyes were closed. His face looked peaceful. His long yellow hair was brushed smooth and shone like silk, the light caught it and reflected upon it like the sunrise across the ripples of a pool of water.
This was the first of many days I spent at his side. Lord Eammonn Cravenhaw kept true to his words. He took me the training grounds of his men in the morning and in the afternoon he had me with him as he made plans of war. In the night he dressed me like a doll and paraded me as a treasure. Than in the lateness of the dark we would sit in the chambers and play his game of chess and he would speak words of his wisdom.
Days turned to months and time moved by. The pain inside me never faded and each morning I was drawn to the sunrise to sing unto it. My mind slowly opened, regaining the abilities I lost and the dawning of new ones surged in my veins. With each awakening he helped plan the many uses I could now call upon. His hand never again rose against me and he kept me close at all times. He moved me to a new place to sleep, two bedrooms joined by a sitting room. He stayed in one and I in the other.
Each night I could not sleep I reread the book I carried. Some nights we sat in the chairs watching the fire die.
One late night as he was heavy into the drink and stared heavily at me. I had lost again in the board game and his eyes danced across my form, “Your life today is a direct consequence of your past choices; your tomorrow depends on the choices you make right now. But unhealthy decisions from the past can make you question your own instincts and can paralyze your ability to make effective choices.”
He leaned forward and went to his knees, “Yesmine, I am paralyzed by you. I wish you to be my Lady. For us to have many strong sons. I have fought these things and wanted to mistrust you. So many times I have tested you, you coming back stronger and more my equal. You have changed my lonely life and filled it with a happiness. But I want more. I want to taste your passion. I want you to freely give yourself to me. Be my Lady.”
My pain grew more for I did not share his longings, “Eammonn, I do not love you.”
He stood and leaned over kissing my check, “Don’t worry you will learn to love me. Till than just agree and I will take care of all the details.” His eyes were glassed but his word rung true to his spirit.
‘If you remember what you have said in the morning ask me again.” I turned and kissed his cheek.
He pulled me from the chair and drew me tightly into his arm and kissed me, a fire burning. “I will remember. I will start the plans in the morning and by the spring we will be wed.” He released me. “We best part now. I don’t think I can hold my urges if you stay.”
I quickly scurried off to my room my spirit ached. The pain inside me grew. I was lost on what action to take. If I refused him what would he do? If I accepted what would I do? I lay across the bed and cried. I could hear the sound from his room as he took another in his passions as he had done so many times. This time the thought of it made my skin crawl and my pain grow.
The wedding plans where set into motion. His spirit was bright and his manners too all kinder. He made his plans of war for after the wedding. “With my bride at my side I will use her powers to make all that would stand against me fall. Nothing will be able to stop us.” He boasted to all.
I went through the motion of happiness, I tried to share in the excitement but I was lost. The aching inside me grew as the winter faded. The gown of white was made. It was simple silk gown. I looked into the full-length mirror as the seamstress made final adjustments. It felt all wrong to me. But come the sunset of the next day he would have his bride.
That night a great feast was prepared and many new dishes served. All the men of arms and their women sat around the table. Music played and voices filled the room. A small tart was placed before me. I took a taste.
“What is this?””Boysen Berry pie,” Eammonn stated as he continued with his conversation with another.
I stood and ran from the room in tears. Silence fell over the room as I darted away. I ran to my room and locked the door. I grabbed my book.
“’My name is Raven. I am of the line of the Fireoak elves. I live in the land of the cold and green and it is called Earth. I have my two children hidden on the road.’ Thistle Lothere, Gene Aldarien, How could I have forgot you? I have a love that is lost to me.” My Cufaen, My beloved Cufaen, I cried.
Eammonn pounded on the door. “Yesmine, what is wrong? Let me in! I ORDER YOU TO LET ME IN!” I dried my tears and open the door. He rushed in and grabbed me pulling me into him. He looked down at my sad green eyes my eyes looked past him. “NO! I am not going to lose you now.” He shook and pulled us both to the floor. He could see it in my eyes. “You are mine!” His hands ran through my hair as he pressed me to his chest. “The Tuatha De Danann cannot have you back.” He rocked me in his arms.
The night passed and he held me on the floor his eyes never closing. He lifted me and stood before the window. The sun broke over the mountains and filled the sky. “See my sweet Yesmine. They can not take you in the light and tonight I will be there to guard you. Make ready for the wedding. I will be waiting for you.” He turned and walked from the room.
I removed the dress of the evening and place my jeans and shirt on, my cloak covered all. All that I carried was that which I brought to this world. Tears filled me and I stepped to the Road.
** Eammonn sat beneath the open window, the sun bathing him in light. His hands held a simple dress of white silk to his face as streams of tears flowed from his eyes**