Raven’s Personal Log 11
I open my eyes and my veins where cool; my heart still pounding from the wonders he had shown me. His head rested on my breast. I felt him move and looked into his face, his broad smile stared back. I stoked his lovely black locks and our eyes locked and where lost to each other.
“Do you think?” I asked.
Cufaen looked confused at my question. “Do I think?”
I had to hold my giggles; “That we are fruitful? No spirits to tell us.” I smiled widely, “Cufean?” I paused “What to try again?”
“I have no idea, my love, I have no idea.” He nearly laughed, “as to again…it is not an impossibility.”
“This is good, “I remarked, stroking his hair, “I have to think how to write of this. The lessons don’t mention it.”
He moved up, placing a sweet kiss upon my lips; “Your lessons seem. Incomplete.”
I nodded, “I did not get the last of the instruction.”
Cufaen propped his head up on his fist, “Why not?”
“I left before mating.”
“And who were you to mate with?” He ran his fingers upon my tummy.
I smiled watching his fingers, “He will be strong like his father.” I looked into his eyes. Yes, all was well with in, as long as I was with him. I answered his question; “No mature would of touched me in the forest and I could not wait, the need was great.”
“Why not? You are incredibly beautiful…”
His words were kind. I knew I was of odd looks, “My marks of greatness, the story of my darkness, I am not beautiful there. I am what you would call a freak there. They would never say such a dark thing but you know.” I thought of the ways they let me know I was not of my own people. “The only one willing to take me was Libleg and he is the great of the elders.”
Cufean nodded, “I figured …”
“He could not step down at a time of need for the people nor I to wait. So on my return I am to mate with him and carry his seed.” I stated what was to be but Cufean growled, this time not in passion but an angry, animal growl. I had to ask, “Why did you growl?”
“I don’t think so!” He exclaimed.
“What is wrong?” I was confused, “I will hold my pledge true to you. I will hide with you till you no longer want me.” I pushed his hair from his eyes.”
“You will not hide.”
I tried to explain; “If in eleven of your months the need is over they will take me. I am not willing to hurt you. Thus I will stay and hide from their call. But it is only an ‘if’. The need can be for a long time, even many many of your cycles.”
“How can they take you?”
“I still need to finish my task. I will send the mates to them.” I paused to gather my words, “At first I will be called and if I do not return, they will summons my talisman to bring me. If it can’t they will come for me.”
“And once you return?” Cufean took a grin of a predator, “Come for you, huh,”
“Seekers are far too valuable to lose because of the knowledge they have gathered.” My mind thought of the difference it was in the forest. There if you where you were lost, you were lost but yet Seekers where always to be found. “That is why I have to send word to them with the mates.”
“Who will come?”
“I never asked who would come. It could be the next Seeker but none are ready. It could be the great ones for all I know. “I smiled into his thought filled eyes, “You ask much more than we.”
“I am insatiable.”
“Even if we are fruitful can we try more? I do not wish to sit in holding or does the green do this different too.”
“Sit in holding?” The look upon his face showed me he did not understand. Did not the women sit in holding till the seed was brought forth and the parent chosen? Of course no they are allowed both parents in the green.
“Guess it’s different.” I pulled closer and kissed him. “I think I will like it here now. Valoki will like you better now. He will not be burning with my pain any more.”
His smile was as sweet as I had ever seen and his voice filled with cheerfulness, “No more chance of a stinger in the ass?”
I grinned, “I can’t promise that.” My tummy rumbled. I sat up in the bed; “I’ll be right back.” I kissed his forehead and bound to the bathroom. His eyes where closed when I returned and he lay on his back with hands under his head. A smile was painted on his lips. As I climbed next to him his eyes opened and I was drawn to his green eyes. His lips kissed the top of my head as I laid it upon his chest.
“Nick would not understand my happiness” I began. “For I have my dream.”
“Nick knows too much.” he remarked.
“I still owe him his debt. ” I spoke my thoughts, “They always ask for something.”
Cufaen murmured “Blasted lizard”
“You must claim any child,” I continued, “He can not take anything that is not mine alone to give.” I paused, “You do not like the great one??”
“He has tempered in my life too many times.” I could hear something hidden in the words, “The last time…. I will not forget or forgive.”
“He said to me. You will do daughter, you will do. That put me on edge. Great ones are different than my people.” I didn’t not know how to tell my dream of the things I did know, of the great ones or the reason I did not trust T’sar but was drawn to him like a parent.
“They are different from all peoples. Even little ones.”
“Will Nick try to hurt you again?”
“I don’t know.” He had grown distant in thought.
“I need drink of the cold,” I stated, “I feel like there is no moisture left in me.”
“I’ll join you.” His smile returned, “There are drinks in the library.”
“Is there a taboo in your manor or do I have to dress?”
Cufaen laughter sounded out brightly, “No taboo …”
I bounded out the bed with new found energy grabbing my talisman, “Okay, Last one in the library is a firefly tail.” I ran to the door laughing. He sprung in a great leap and disappeared. I ran through the door with his arms grabbing me as I entered.
“Milk? Juice? I think the tea is cold.” He smiled into my soul and released me.
“Can I have them all please.” My dream laughed lightly and poured a glass of each. I look to see my locket and some how my cloak laid on the floor. I replace the locket with my talisman and sat upon my cloak as I drank the first cool glass of juice. I reached for the second. “You will claim won’t you? I know Mystic will, if do not wish to.”
He sat beside me on the cloak “Yes, I will.”
“This is good.” I smiled happily and downed the liquid taking the third. Cufaen sat sipping on his first glass of Juice. “What would you name him?” I asked
“I hadn’t thought about it.”
“We have no spirit tree to tend to it.” I rested my head on his shoulder, “You once said that you had to want a seed and be with love.” He nodded. I continued, “In order for you to procreate. Did you wish for seed with me?”
“Yes.”
I felt good at the knowledge that I might be fruitful, “Than if you get the female chi… Daughter you want. She will be named after your love Thistle.” His eyes grew large and his face looked stunned. I continued, “A son needs a name from you.”
“I will think on it …” He drifted away in thought
“Child of the cold green and flame, of the old and reborn.” I looked up at him, “Is something troubling you?” I see the look upon his face. “I know, I have too much of a one track mind.”
His smile slowly grew, “No, I don’t mind…I love to see you so happy.”
“I don’t think I remember a day I felt happier.” I was in the dream; I was living the dream. I now understood the dream of my life. “You have made me whole. The burning is not hot, the pain of it is gone, the void in me filled and above all … I know what it is to love.” I gave him a kiss; “You are forever invited in the warehouse forest.”
“Beware, you may find me under foot…and sticking my nose into your business.”
I spoke freely to him, “You have done that since I arrived a month ago and I can not refuse you. I will never be able to refuse you.”
He grinned, “I am sorry to be so inquisitive … it is my nature.”
“I love all that is you.” I melted into his arms; “We of the forest do not question things after we are taught the way.”
“I question everything.” He added
“But it the ones with the questioning spirit, that makes it to be a seeker. Do you question my feelings for you?” I asked.
“No.” he seemed a little surprised at my question, “not at all.”
I smiled, “Than not everything.” He laughed at my statement. I looked into his eyes and stroked his hair; “I love to see you happy too.” My mind drifted to my duty, “I must check to make sure William is safe and John and Josho and Linda. I must return to the warehouse forest.”
“I will go with you.” He stated and it made me happy. I so did wish to be with him.
I went back to his room, gathering up my things and entered the bathroom closing the door. The liquid came forth and the evil rested in my belly. I dressed and joined him in his room. The warehouse forest was called my home, The Fireoak Forest I called my home but where was home? If the words of the books are right, home is where the heart is and my heart is with my dream. I am finally home.