{"id":2530,"date":"2019-04-05T23:29:53","date_gmt":"2019-04-05T23:29:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/?p=2530"},"modified":"2019-04-05T23:30:42","modified_gmt":"2019-04-05T23:30:42","slug":"the-prayer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/2019\/04\/05\/the-prayer\/","title":{"rendered":"The Prayer"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-family: Beaulieux;\"><b>Female Prayer:<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<p>Before I lay me down to sleep,<br \/>\nI pray for a man, who&#8217;s not a creep,<br \/>\nOne who&#8217;s handsome, smart and strong,<br \/>\nOne who loves to listen long,<br \/>\nOne who thinks before he speaks,<br \/>\nOne who&#8217;ll call, not wait for weeks.<br \/>\nI pray he&#8217;s gainfully employed,<br \/>\nWhen I spend his cash, won&#8217;t be annoyed<br \/>\nPulls out my chair and opens my door,<br \/>\nMassages my back and begs to do more.<br \/>\nOh! Send me a man who&#8217;ll make love to my mind,<br \/>\nKnows what to answer to &#8220;How big is my behind?&#8221;<br \/>\nI pray that this man will love me to no end,<br \/>\nAnd always be my very best friend.<\/p>\n<p>Amen.<\/p>\n<p><b>Male Prayer:<\/b><\/p>\n<p>I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac<br \/>\nwith huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a bass boat.<br \/>\nAmen<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Female Prayer: Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who&#8217;s not a creep, One who&#8217;s handsome, smart and strong, One who loves to listen long, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2530","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2530","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2530"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2530\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2533,"href":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2530\/revisions\/2533"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2530"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2530"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2530"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}