{"id":2484,"date":"2019-04-01T18:32:47","date_gmt":"2019-04-01T18:32:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/?p=2484"},"modified":"2019-04-01T18:33:14","modified_gmt":"2019-04-01T18:33:14","slug":"too-much-java","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/2019\/04\/01\/too-much-java\/","title":{"rendered":"too much java"},"content":{"rendered":"

Signs that you’ve been drinking too much java…<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.<\/p>\n

You ski uphill.<\/p>\n

You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked.<\/p>\n

You have a bumper sticker that says: “Coffee drinkers are good in the sack.”<\/p>\n

You answer the door before people knock.<\/p>\n

You just completed another sweater and you don’t know how to knit.<\/p>\n

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.<\/p>\n

You have to watch videos in fast-forward.<\/p>\n

You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.<\/p>\n

You lick your coffeepot clean.<\/p>\n

You spend every vacation visiting “Maxwell House.”<\/p>\n

You’re the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don’t even work there.<\/p>\n

The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.<\/p>\n

Your T-shirt says, “Decaffeinated coffee is the devil’s coffee.”<\/p>\n

You’re so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.<\/p>\n

You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.<\/p>\n

You can jump-start your car without cables.<\/p>\n

Cocaine is a downer.<\/p>\n

All your kids are named “Joe.”<\/p>\n

Your only source of nutrition comes from “Sweet & Low.”<\/p>\n

You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.<\/p>\n

Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Signs that you’ve been drinking too much java… Juan Valdez names his donkey after you. You ski uphill. You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked. You have a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2484","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2484","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2484"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2484\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2485,"href":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2484\/revisions\/2485"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2484"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2484"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ravensplayland.com\/wpRAVEN\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2484"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}