Fatal Things to Say
\nto Your Pregnant Wife<\/p>\n
“I finished the Oreos.”<\/p>\n
“Not to imply anything, but I don’t think the kid weighs forty pounds.”<\/p>\n
“Y’know, looking at her, you’d never guess Pamela Lee had two kids!!<\/p>\n
“I sure hope your thighs aren’t gonna stay that flabby forever!”<\/p>\n
“Well, couldn’t they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl.”<\/p>\n
“Darned if you ain’t about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella.”<\/p>\n
“Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that’s gotta hurt.”<\/p>\n
“Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!”<\/p>\n
“I’m jealous! Why can’t men experience the joy of childbirth?”<\/p>\n
“Are your ankles supposed to look like that?”<\/p>\n
“Get your own ice cream.”<\/p>\n
“Geez, you’re awfully puffy looking today.”<\/p>\n
“Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney.”<\/p>\n
“Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!”<\/p>\n
“Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water.”<\/p>\n
And the one Fatal Thing to NEVER, EVER, Say to Your Pregnant Wife…<\/p>\n
“You don’t have the guts to pull the trigger!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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